BIRTHDAY:

Outside of the card:  This is NOT a Birthday Cake!  This is a Birthday Frosting! Inside of the card:  There is more frosting on this cake, than actual cake! (Picture Idea:  On the outside of the card you could draw a picture of a birthday cake with multi-colored candles.  And of course, the cake would be topped with LOTS of frosting!)

FRIENDSHIP:

Outside of the card:  Women who wear granny panties have more fun!  Inside of the card:  And, are a lot more comfortable!  (Picture Idea:  You could draw a pair of large granny panties and put the "outside of the card" text on the panties.)

MOTHER'S DAY:

Outside of the card:  CONGRATULATIONS!  YOU ARE NOW A MEMBER OF THE PRESTIGIOUS "SPIT SISTER'S" CLUB!

Inside of the card:  ADMISSION REQUIREMENTS: 

•   Mom must have wiped some dirt off of your face in your childhood with a handkerchief and a glob of her nasty spit. 
• Daughter must have been totally grossed out and embarrassed by this.
• Daughter must have questioned her Mother's sanity for using her spit as a facial cleanser.

 FOR DOING THIS, I HAVE TO SAY MOM THAT YOU ARE THE BEST AND THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN COMMITTED A LONG TIME AGO!  JUST KIDDING! 

Happy Mother's Day!

I Love You!

(Picture Idea:  On the outside of the card you could have a picture of a mother wiping her daughter's face with a handkerchief.  The daughter should be making a horrible face.)